At the present, I’m working at a Barramundi farm.
When I started in February 2016, I found I needed to keep an eye on the time throughout the day. I don’t keep my phone with me while I work as it would get soaked and die within the first few minutes. One particular day early in the piece, my boss became quite irate because I didn’t leave work on time. Yes: I worked a bit of unpaid overtime and my boss was upset. He’s a good guy. I told my partner about this little incident during our afternoon phone call (as I had to move away to take the job). Next time I saw her it was my birthday and she had bought me a waterproof watch as a gift.
It’s been a good watch, a very thoughtful present. I’ve never really worn one before. Sure, it’s a very handy device to have while I work. But, when I get home at the end of the day, it feels so good to take it off – liberating. Physically, my wrist feels lighter, freer and less restricted: a reflection of my mind. Psychologically, the oppression of the linear progression of time, meted out second-by-reductionist-second melts away; the pounding drum of time=money fades into the distance as I undo the band and quietly place the watch on the table. I am ever-so-slightly me again: calmer, more present. Slightly more in tune with the actual rhythm of life rather than the imposed abstract human rhythms of the second, the minute, the hour, the work day.
A thoughtful gift, symbol of love and kindness.
An inevitable burden. Industrial time.
Time instead well spent, to step, to stop, to smile and smell the sea foam.
I said to myself, if nothing changes, I will leave this job when the watch stops working. A superstitious link forged between the object and the life.
When it breaks is it trying to tell me something?
Can it be? Just so I can get on with it?
Or a way to avoid the burden of making a choice that could possibly go bad?
I would like a more challenging job
The watch has four buttons, and when you push the one on the lower left, it beeps.
Today marked a checkpoint on the infinite descent into deeper entropy:
the beeping stopped.
The day I’m let go could be closer than I think.